Monkey?

22.08.2011

Day 2: 

First off, how awesome is it that they have a rock climbing wall on campus?! Taylor’s, when you wanna build one?

Nothing eventful happened today. We’re just chilling around, not doing much. The people are really nice. They seem to be very simple, straightforward, innocent, naive individuals with no ulterior motives. A very different change for me, I’m always surrounded by people who have personal intentions, and I always need to be alert and think on my toes to keep up. And the nicer these people are to me, the more I feel like a jerk for always manipulating people. Oh well, then it’s two weeks without any plotting or politics, I think I like that. Perhaps, different upbringing, different environment really does create different people. It’s kinda obvious here in China, the rich are well to do and different in terms of attitude and behavior from the average Chinese, the simpleton. Hate to say this, but the rich behaves kinda like how a normal Malaysian behaves. That’s life I guess, there’ll always be caste between different groups of people, no matter how much we like to say that we are always united and the same. Anyhow, met the lovely Bai Liu today, a new face that I like. Sidenote, sleeping alone tonight, Michael has decided to ditch me and travel to another district by himself.

Bai Liu

21.08.2011

Alright, so the following post would be the first in a series of posts, detailing my trip to Beijing, China. I keep a journal for when I travel, and here I am digitizing them, to ensure that it won’t be lost in some deep dark abyss, wherever that may be.

Day 1:

Perhaps our overloaded baggage was an indication of a tumbling road ahead. Having to find a way to ship 18kg of extra load took up almost two hours. Plus the delayed flight would have been another omen. 

Beijing is a nice place and all but I feel very misplaced here, like I’m a fish out of water. Dejected and demotivated, I don’t even know what’s the purpose of me travelling all the way here. Perhaps it’s just the communication barrier. I really hope the following days would be better cause I’d really need to pull through this. I’m really homesick right now and I don’t know why too. This isn’t the first time I’m far away from home but it’s the first time I felt like going back after the first day. This is really a huge culture shock for me! Now isn’t that some big fat irony..

Thank you for welcoming me, but I don’t feel like I belong here

My home for the next fortnight, BIPT

Okay, so the people are quite friendly, except they don’t understand a single thing that I say! :O

insomniac

life likes to play a funny game isn’t it. how on normal days i’d be wishing i have more time to sleep and rest, but now when i have all the time in the world to snooze, i can’t sleep. funny bit of irony there. well, on the bright side, at least i don’t have to wake up to an alarm, so i’d be sleeping in either ways. that’s the only consolation, if not i’d be desperately trying to sleep now rather than typing this.

weather’s a bitch lately. am secretly hoping it rains every single day but no, somehow it’s always bright and sunny and hot! funny how lately things hasn’t been going my way. and that irritates me a lot, hence my temperamental mood. slightest thing is capable of ticking me off. i’d very much like to blame it all on the weather and how it’s making me moody, but somehow i think the true cause of this is just the change that i’m feeling lately. 

change, it is always imminent. nothing stays constant, but i always wish time would stop at a moment in time of my choice. no, it just have to move on and be different. making my life like a sinusoidal graph, with its many ups and downs. heck, i think everybody has that favourite moment in time, that they’d wish would stay that way forever. pointless fantasies. the thing i hate most is how relationship between people can change. how close friends can become so distant. people say absence makes the heart grow fonder, i say absence makes friends strangers.

people come and go in life, and to be able to meet a person is a wonderful turn of fate. fate brings people together and it also drives people away. i don’t mean to be philosophical at all, but that’s the way i see it. out of so many people in the world that i can cross paths with, i somehow stumbled into yours. it’s funny when i look back on the day we first met, i like to do that with most of my friends. just to see how far we’ve come together, and how we’ve changed. 

sadly not everybody i meet are my friends. there are also the bunch of superficial, hypocritical people who only pretends to be my friends. well, yea, i know if a person is truly my friend or not. and sometimes i don’t mind being used, because i’ve been brought up to be well-mannered, polite and helpful. to help a complete stranger i can do, and i don’t mind doing either. i treat everybody genuinely and i’ve definitely matured a lot in terms of being more opened minded. 

i don’t really know what i’m saying right now, these are all merely stuff that’s going on in my mind. well, i think that’s why i can’t sleep. too many things on my mind. i always like to plan ahead. keep things organized. but lately things hasn’t been going according to the plan, so yea, that keeps me up at night. hate it when i don’t get my way. disappoints me even. so now i go around sulking, hating life. 

i know what i want to achieve in life, hence why i work so hard each day. striving to achieve that perfect picture i have in my mind. but now i keep thinking, what’s next? if i do achieve my life goal, what’s after that? and i have no idea. there is no other plan after that. my life would actually come to a full-stop, and that kinda sucks. am i thinking too much? i guess so, if not why else i can type so much in the middle of the night, well it’s almost even morning now.

i’m going crazy, literally. this life right now, drives me insane! while everybody else is playing video games, sports, etc, i’m doing work. and the sickest part, i enjoy it. what the heck is wrong with me, i’ve no idea. right now i’m on this ledge, the moment i take another step, i’m going to fall down into a dark abyss of nothingness. i bet this doesn’t make any sense, and i’m just ranting eternally like how this blog is like an emo blog. but yeah, that’s the picture…

what i need right now, is a quiet getaway to somewhere, i don’t even care where. the main point is to get disconnected. disconnected from work, disconnected from family, disconnected from friends. just simply; disconnected.

contentment

what does it take for a person to be happy, contented, grateful even for the things that he has around him? isn’t it natural for a person to always want more. more of this, more of that. bottom line is more. even if you don’t need it or necessarily want it, you still crave for more. maybe it’s just me, but maybe it’s human nature. satisfaction never last, before long, satisfaction is no longer good enough. greed gets the better of us me. i’m never satisfied or contented, i always want more. even though i’ve already achieved things that are considered great, i still want more. MORE! MORE! MORE! greedy christopher!