Monkey?

Aren't we all just a bunch of baboons!

Thanksgiving

I’m pretty overwhelmed by a sense of gratefulness today. I mean, I’m pretty lucky in life and I think I have what people would call an easy life. I’ve not actually been through any hardship or difficulties that is life changing. I know sometimes I can be a whiner and complain a lot, but mostly I’m actually really thankful. I’ve great friends, met some people who touched my life. I’ve seen bits of the world, experience life outside my home country. I’ve a good job, pays the bills, allows me to splurge, and best part I actually pretty enjoy it. I’ve bragging rights over some seriously unbelievable achievements. So thank you, thank you very much. Thank you to my family, God, my friends and anyone who directly or indirectly led me to where I am today. I’ll try to be thankful all the time and hopefully less obnoxious.

Rarely, but not entirely removed, there are times I’d wished I was back again at a particular moment. Knowing that I’d never, and I use the word never, go back to that again is a little bit saddening. All that’s left is a fleeting memory, one which with each recollection I tweak a little and a little, until it’s perfection. Can’t help myself thinking, what I could have done, what I should have done; picturing an altogether perfect scenario only to have myself slapped back into reality, reminding myself, that’s it, nothing can be changed, what’s done is done.

Somedays I get a wee bit emotional. Guys gets mood swings too and for me when I feel upset, I feel very upset. Maybe cause I’m always cheery and happy-go-lucky-ish (not so much lately I guess). And the weird part is, I’ve no idea what I’m upset bout. Maybe just the culmination of everything together, or maybe I’m just tired of everything. It’s just one of ‘em moody days. Feel like I’m trying so hard in everything that I do, and not getting the results I hope for fast enough. I’m very much a worrier, stressing out over the smallest thing that isn’t perfect. Work hard, play hard? Can I do neither? 
And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but are yourself lost or destroyed?
#Luke9:25 #MaybeIShouldGoToSleep #MondayBlues #ForcingLaughterFakingSmiles

Somedays I get a wee bit emotional. Guys gets mood swings too and for me when I feel upset, I feel very upset. Maybe cause I’m always cheery and happy-go-lucky-ish (not so much lately I guess). And the weird part is, I’ve no idea what I’m upset bout. Maybe just the culmination of everything together, or maybe I’m just tired of everything. It’s just one of ‘em moody days. Feel like I’m trying so hard in everything that I do, and not getting the results I hope for fast enough. I’m very much a worrier, stressing out over the smallest thing that isn’t perfect. Work hard, play hard? Can I do neither?
And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but are yourself lost or destroyed?
#Luke9:25 #MaybeIShouldGoToSleep #MondayBlues #ForcingLaughterFakingSmiles

Sometimes I read back my blogposts and feel like a fool. I guess that’s what it means to grow up, looking back at the past feeling so childish. We all have to grow up sometime and I’m pretty sure somewhere down the road I’d still look back at this and feel somewhat less mature.

Why do I write (or type)? Well, because I like to. I genuinely enjoy writing, it’s like a hobby of mine, which admittedly one which I indulge in mostly when I’m sad or upset and the occasional feeling of indifference. Do people understand what I write? Mostly, no I believe. I have this personal sense of entitlement and a matching ego that most of my writing ends up sounding narcissistic.

Anyways, as I’m fast approaching the end of my early twenties, there’s definitely a lot that I’m missing. From people to places to occurrences, there’s too many moments that I’d be gleeful to relive. One thing I loathe is how people come and go, why can’t they stay on forever and ever. There’s certainly a few people who I no longer see/talk/meet that I’m missing dearly. Then there are places, destinations that makes an imprint, locations that just grow so much on me that I felt I left a tiny bit of me there. Finally the events, the special occasions, the randomness, the spontaneity, the outings, the road trips and everything in between. Some things that only lasts for a fleeting moment but lives on as a memory, longed to be repeated.

I can only hope mid-twenties bring even more moments to be cherished. Though one of the thing that irks me is how most surveys/forms/whatever which has age classification, forces me to check the “older” age group now. I’m totally fine with growing up, I’m not effing Peter Pan, but every time I check that it just begs the question, what am I doing with my life?

I have dreams. My dreams are simple. Fame, fortune, power and happiness. Is that too much to ask? Hey, looking at my ancestry, I don’t think so. Okay, I’m steering clear from that pompous bastard talk. Work hard, play hard. It’s no wonder I find all them excuses to indulge myself almost too frequently. It’s been too long since I travelled. That’s something I’m missing so much.

Last note, that’s half of 2014 gone. What have you done..?
Exactly!

It was one of those days the rain came out of nowhere. Staying in the rain would get my hoodie soaked in no time. Not to mention I don’t actually put on my hood else it’ll spoil my spiked hair. Thankfully there was a bench by the cove under a dome. A majestic entrance to a hotel, I thought to myself. Shaking off that bit of cold, I sat looking out at the tippity tap of the rain on the floor and in the nearby water. Thinking to myself if I would ever own one of those yachts bobbing ever so slightly by the cove. Wondering, hopping and praying this rain would go away as quickly as it came, I was called by name, disrupting my little trance. I saw the familiar black lens pointing in my direction, and I break out a smile. And then had this picture snapped. #storyofmylife #cantbelieveyoureadallthat #pictureworthathousandwords #allthesehashtagstoseeifyoucanreadwordswithoutspaces

It was one of those days the rain came out of nowhere. Staying in the rain would get my hoodie soaked in no time. Not to mention I don’t actually put on my hood else it’ll spoil my spiked hair. Thankfully there was a bench by the cove under a dome. A majestic entrance to a hotel, I thought to myself. Shaking off that bit of cold, I sat looking out at the tippity tap of the rain on the floor and in the nearby water. Thinking to myself if I would ever own one of those yachts bobbing ever so slightly by the cove. Wondering, hopping and praying this rain would go away as quickly as it came, I was called by name, disrupting my little trance. I saw the familiar black lens pointing in my direction, and I break out a smile. And then had this picture snapped. #storyofmylife #cantbelieveyoureadallthat #pictureworthathousandwords #allthesehashtagstoseeifyoucanreadwordswithoutspaces

Lately I’ve been getting so many people asking me why I’m still single. Like, really? I find it amusing when people give me the what-the-heck-are-you-talking-bout look when I tell them I’m not looking. In all honesty I don’t think you’d find love, I think it’s love that finds you. If you’re looking for love cause your friends are all couply or just so it happens it’s wedding season then you’re searching for all the wrong reasons.

It’s nice being in a relationship, I’ve been there. It’s beautiful to have someone to talk to anytime of the day for just about anything. And it’s really nice cuddling and hugging keeping each other warm. But trust me, I also know if it’s not the right person, you’d just end up hurting yourself and worse the other party.

No I’m not saying being in a relationship is a bad thing, on the contrary if you’re with someone then good for you. Really, good for you. It’s hard to find two parties that love each other so hold on to that. Okay, I might get heckled for being conservative bout what I’m gonna say next but here goes. I honestly think that those people who gets into a relationship cause they have a crush on someone or like the other person is stupid. If you think you like that person get to know them first, be friends not couples. It sounds old fashioned for me to think that you should only get together if you love each other, cause I don’t see that being a couple to test how things go and maybe find love is a good idea. Would it even last? What if someone better comes along huh?

Maybe that’s why I find it so hard to get together, cause I’m dreaming of falling in love, and not just trying things out with someone hoping things would work out. I’ve found it before, told them and didn’t find it reciprocated. It’s heartbreaking for sure but at least it’s worth it cause at least I tried. I’ve also been on the other end, I know how hard and awkward it is to say no in the nicest possible way. Okay another point being is, how can you honestly say you like me without even knowing who I am. I’m flattered honestly and I find the things you say and text really sweet but shouldn’t we at least be friends first, like maybe hangout a little, get to know each other better. As much as I crave having a relationship I’m sure as hell not going to plunge myself into one on a whim.

Maybe I don’t dare to take the leap of faith but hey, it’s not your own life we’re talking bout, there’s another person in the picture. Do I like single-hood? Yep. Do I like couply-ness? Yep. There are times I really feel so alone but there are also times that I love my me-time.

Just because I’m a “good catch”, to quote a couple of people who shall remain anonymous, doesn’t necessarily mean I should be taken. I’m just holding out for that indescribable feeling, I’ll know it when I feel it, cause I’ve felt it before. And people always say, what if you don’t find anyone and end up alone. Hey, there’s so many people out there and if I can’t find one doesn’t mean I need to settle. If it’s not meant to be, it’s not meant to be, right..?

Story of My Life

On my drive back from work late at night, I heard 1D’s Story of My Life playing on the radio, and it got me thinking, what is the story of my life? Just half a year ago I was contemplating which road to take, the start of my career life. Now that I’ve actually been working, just a week shy of 4 months, I can’t help but wonder, did I make the right choice?

In all honesty I can picture myself staying long in this company, but getting to where I truly wanna be seems like a challenge. I’m a competitive person by nature, and this is by far the most competitive environment I’ve ever been in. Just completed my annual self-review, and can’t help but wonder, after every line of input I type, have I done enough? I’m working pretty hard at work, another one of my traits being a workaholic and all, and yes I’m volunteering for many things outside my job scope, yet somehow I still feel like I’m not standing out enough. 

Maybe it’s a matter of perspective, but after having so much attention and power and fame for so long, being a nobody is getting to me a little bit. I admit that I love to be in a power position, having my ego stroked while I figuratively purr like a satisfied cat. Admittedly I’m awkwardly nervous at getting my first ever review. And I rarely get nervous! What if I’m just not good enough?

Zach Sobiech

I started typing this on June 10th, in my dorm room back at MIT. I guess I just kept on procrastinating on finishing it. Well, actually I was figuring out how to sound less philosophical, but arrrgh who cares? Anyways, it’s just a little documentation of my feelings during certain “occasions” in my life. Guess the best part of having a laptop when you’re travelling is that I can tumblr every now and then with ease. Honestly I never thought of publishing this but heck I was typing in another entry today and figured, “yep, that’s the conclusion” so I hit that publish button. Once again, this is fairly lenghty and difficult to comprehend, skip this if you’re not into reading my narcissistic writing. 

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Fin

Yet another year coming to a close. Bye 2013, I guess we won’t be meeting anymore. It’s that time again that FB reminds you it’s the end of the year by putting a link to see your year in review.

My 2013 was one hell of a journey. If you told me a year ago where I’d end up today I would probably laugh it off. It’s been a fantabulous (yea just gotta use this word cause it really was fantastically fabulous) year. Had some of my saddest moments, but that balanced out with some of the happiest and proudest moments.

A year ago, I’d say that I was still a boy, but I feel all grown up now. I’m honestly happy with where I am today. So many new things in my life, changes for the better. Not yet contented, as I’ve only just started my career and my inner competitive-ambitious-dictator is already spurning me not to climb, but fly up the corporate ladder.

So anywho, I guess I would say 2013 was a good year. Managed to travel a bit, which was something I set out to accomplish. Got myself a job, a good one and I’m pretty happy with it. End my degree with a bang, beat out the competition, got my name out there, and most importantly made my parents proud. So yea, all in all not a bad year at all. Fingers crossed 2014 would be even better!

It’s been awhile since I’m this busy. One week to plan and organize an event, in the midst of handing over my teaching stuff, toss in a few pesky yet annoying convocation rehearsals, dash of company drama, throw in a couple of interviews and top it all off with a bunch of files and contracts that needs reading. Yep, that pretty much sums up my week.

Lots of running around and time really passes so quickly, particularly this is literally the last week I’m a “student”. Life would probably be so different starting next. I’m excited yet anxious. Oh well, let’s just get through this week right? Plenty of ups and downs and a whole lot of forgetfulness.

I’m doing my thing, working out events, but the by-the-wire timeline had me cut out a few of my initial vision for the event, fingers crossed the rest of the elements would work out. 

Saying goodbye to my short stint as an educator, okay so yes, I might have a tiny (and I mean tiny!) soft spot for my students. I wish I could see them through the rest of the semester.

I love being on stage, but I hate losing my spontaneity. Yes, I recite my speech in a sing-song manner, that’s just cause it’s over rehearsed! Hello, ever heard of over rehearsing. And I cannot pronounce the word “edge”, just get over it already!

As much as I love events, I hate being shorthanded. I guess I’m too used to having an entire battalion under my command waiting diligently for instructions that I seem to forget my precious company is only a company of 4. And that’s also a company of 4 very busy individuals. 

Perhaps the most stressful of the lot, I’m still doing interviews. I’ve been taking in a bunch of phone interviews from Korea, for a job I never thought I was up for the running. And I nicely declined a good company. Gosh, I feel like such a jerk sometimes, knowing that there are people out there desperate to kickstart their careers. 

And last but not least, I’ve been nicely served up a bunch of files and contracts for my reading. This one might need the most attention as I gotta read through the fine print and pretty much read between the lines. If only I have the time to do it…

So that’s pretty much all the stuff I’m multitasking at the moment. Confused? Yea, me too. I seem to have bad memory lately, so that just makes everything more complex eh? New life begins in three days. This the final leg of my countdown.

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LIGHT

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LIGHT

Decisions, Decisions

Sixteen years of education all for the sake of getting a good job. In the past I chased after academic results like crazy. I still remember how devastated I was when I got my first B in SPM that ended my straight-A streak. I’m no genius and to do well I need to put in tremendous amounts of effort. For what? To have bragging rights? Now I see how silly to be chasing alphabets.

To those who’s so stressed out over exams and results,  I say this to you; stop fussing over how well you can regurgitate theoretical memorization and be outstanding instead. I say this from my own personal experience. At the end of the day, results are only to get you a good job and I honestly feel that it’s now secondary to practical skills. I for one am not a person who puts my results in my CV (though I have to say, my results ain’t that bad) yet I still get them job offers and made it through in interviews and all.

I think the more stressful part is deciding on a career! It’s one thing to be worried about not getting any offers but to get to pick makes it all the more stressful. What if I pick the wrong one? Should I hold out for a better offer? These are questions that keep appearing in my head every single night. Another thing is the guilt. I make all these applications,  made it through, but eliminated other applicants who wants to he job so badly when I’m not keen in it. I don’t know why I’m still so selfish taking up opportunities of others who wants it so much. I can’t decide,  I’ve always had faith in God,  and I’m really honest during interviews.

So I guess the bottom line is, if you’re awesome enough, you’ll get anywhere. Okay, enough narcissism for one night. Really really need to contemplate what kind of career I’m looking for. But at the end of the day, I’m super duper grateful for all that I have and all that I achieved. All praise to God!

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Beautiful Quotes

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Beautiful Quotes

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Beautiful Quotes

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