Monkey?

Aren't we all just a bunch of baboons!

Lately I’ve been getting so many people asking me why I’m still single. Like, really? I find it amusing when people give me the what-the-heck-are-you-talking-bout look when I tell them I’m not looking. In all honesty I don’t think you’d find love, I think it’s love that finds you. If you’re looking for love cause your friends are all couply or just so it happens it’s wedding season then you’re searching for all the wrong reasons.

It’s nice being in a relationship, I’ve been there. It’s beautiful to have someone to talk to anytime of the day for just about anything. And it’s really nice cuddling and hugging keeping each other warm. But trust me, I also know if it’s not the right person, you’d just end up hurting yourself and worse the other party.

No I’m not saying being in a relationship is a bad thing, on the contrary if you’re with someone then good for you. Really, good for you. It’s hard to find two parties that love each other so hold on to that. Okay, I might get heckled for being conservative bout what I’m gonna say next but here goes. I honestly think that those people who gets into a relationship cause they have a crush on someone or like the other person is stupid. If you think you like that person get to know them first, be friends not couples. It sounds old fashioned for me to think that you should only get together if you love each other, cause I don’t see that being a couple to test how things go and maybe find love is a good idea. Would it even last? What if someone better comes along huh?

Maybe that’s why I find it so hard to get together, cause I’m dreaming of falling in love, and not just trying things out with someone hoping things would work out. I’ve found it before, told them and didn’t find it reciprocated. It’s heartbreaking for sure but at least it’s worth it cause at least I tried. I’ve also been on the other end, I know how hard and awkward it is to say no in the nicest possible way. Okay another point being is, how can you honestly say you like me without even knowing who I am. I’m flattered honestly and I find the things you say and text really sweet but shouldn’t we at least be friends first, like maybe hangout a little, get to know each other better. As much as I crave having a relationship I’m sure as hell not going to plunge myself into one on a whim.

Maybe I don’t dare to take the leap of faith but hey, it’s not your own life we’re talking bout, there’s another person in the picture. Do I like single-hood? Yep. Do I like couply-ness? Yep. There are times I really feel so alone but there are also times that I love my me-time.

Just because I’m a “good catch”, to quote a couple of people who shall remain anonymous, doesn’t necessarily mean I should be taken. I’m just holding out for that indescribable feeling, I’ll know it when I feel it, cause I’ve felt it before. And people always say, what if you don’t find anyone and end up alone. Hey, there’s so many people out there and if I can’t find one doesn’t mean I need to settle. If it’s not meant to be, it’s not meant to be, right..?

Story of My Life

On my drive back from work late at night, I heard 1D’s Story of My Life playing on the radio, and it got me thinking, what is the story of my life? Just half a year ago I was contemplating which road to take, the start of my career life. Now that I’ve actually been working, just a week shy of 4 months, I can’t help but wonder, did I make the right choice?

In all honesty I can picture myself staying long in this company, but getting to where I truly wanna be seems like a challenge. I’m a competitive person by nature, and this is by far the most competitive environment I’ve ever been in. Just completed my annual self-review, and can’t help but wonder, after every line of input I type, have I done enough? I’m working pretty hard at work, another one of my traits being a workaholic and all, and yes I’m volunteering for many things outside my job scope, yet somehow I still feel like I’m not standing out enough. 

Maybe it’s a matter of perspective, but after having so much attention and power and fame for so long, being a nobody is getting to me a little bit. I admit that I love to be in a power position, having my ego stroked while I figuratively purr like a satisfied cat. Admittedly I’m awkwardly nervous at getting my first ever review. And I rarely get nervous! What if I’m just not good enough?

Zach Sobiech

I started typing this on June 10th, in my dorm room back at MIT. I guess I just kept on procrastinating on finishing it. Well, actually I was figuring out how to sound less philosophical, but arrrgh who cares? Anyways, it’s just a little documentation of my feelings during certain “occasions” in my life. Guess the best part of having a laptop when you’re travelling is that I can tumblr every now and then with ease. Honestly I never thought of publishing this but heck I was typing in another entry today and figured, “yep, that’s the conclusion” so I hit that publish button. Once again, this is fairly lenghty and difficult to comprehend, skip this if you’re not into reading my narcissistic writing. 

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Fin

Yet another year coming to a close. Bye 2013, I guess we won’t be meeting anymore. It’s that time again that FB reminds you it’s the end of the year by putting a link to see your year in review.

My 2013 was one hell of a journey. If you told me a year ago where I’d end up today I would probably laugh it off. It’s been a fantabulous (yea just gotta use this word cause it really was fantastically fabulous) year. Had some of my saddest moments, but that balanced out with some of the happiest and proudest moments.

A year ago, I’d say that I was still a boy, but I feel all grown up now. I’m honestly happy with where I am today. So many new things in my life, changes for the better. Not yet contented, as I’ve only just started my career and my inner competitive-ambitious-dictator is already spurning me not to climb, but fly up the corporate ladder.

So anywho, I guess I would say 2013 was a good year. Managed to travel a bit, which was something I set out to accomplish. Got myself a job, a good one and I’m pretty happy with it. End my degree with a bang, beat out the competition, got my name out there, and most importantly made my parents proud. So yea, all in all not a bad year at all. Fingers crossed 2014 would be even better!

It’s been awhile since I’m this busy. One week to plan and organize an event, in the midst of handing over my teaching stuff, toss in a few pesky yet annoying convocation rehearsals, dash of company drama, throw in a couple of interviews and top it all off with a bunch of files and contracts that needs reading. Yep, that pretty much sums up my week.

Lots of running around and time really passes so quickly, particularly this is literally the last week I’m a “student”. Life would probably be so different starting next. I’m excited yet anxious. Oh well, let’s just get through this week right? Plenty of ups and downs and a whole lot of forgetfulness.

I’m doing my thing, working out events, but the by-the-wire timeline had me cut out a few of my initial vision for the event, fingers crossed the rest of the elements would work out. 

Saying goodbye to my short stint as an educator, okay so yes, I might have a tiny (and I mean tiny!) soft spot for my students. I wish I could see them through the rest of the semester.

I love being on stage, but I hate losing my spontaneity. Yes, I recite my speech in a sing-song manner, that’s just cause it’s over rehearsed! Hello, ever heard of over rehearsing. And I cannot pronounce the word “edge”, just get over it already!

As much as I love events, I hate being shorthanded. I guess I’m too used to having an entire battalion under my command waiting diligently for instructions that I seem to forget my precious company is only a company of 4. And that’s also a company of 4 very busy individuals. 

Perhaps the most stressful of the lot, I’m still doing interviews. I’ve been taking in a bunch of phone interviews from Korea, for a job I never thought I was up for the running. And I nicely declined a good company. Gosh, I feel like such a jerk sometimes, knowing that there are people out there desperate to kickstart their careers. 

And last but not least, I’ve been nicely served up a bunch of files and contracts for my reading. This one might need the most attention as I gotta read through the fine print and pretty much read between the lines. If only I have the time to do it…

So that’s pretty much all the stuff I’m multitasking at the moment. Confused? Yea, me too. I seem to have bad memory lately, so that just makes everything more complex eh? New life begins in three days. This the final leg of my countdown.

Reblogged from mic3060

wrdbnr:

LIGHT

Reblogged from wrdbnr

wrdbnr:

LIGHT

Decisions, Decisions

Sixteen years of education all for the sake of getting a good job. In the past I chased after academic results like crazy. I still remember how devastated I was when I got my first B in SPM that ended my straight-A streak. I’m no genius and to do well I need to put in tremendous amounts of effort. For what? To have bragging rights? Now I see how silly to be chasing alphabets.

To those who’s so stressed out over exams and results,  I say this to you; stop fussing over how well you can regurgitate theoretical memorization and be outstanding instead. I say this from my own personal experience. At the end of the day, results are only to get you a good job and I honestly feel that it’s now secondary to practical skills. I for one am not a person who puts my results in my CV (though I have to say, my results ain’t that bad) yet I still get them job offers and made it through in interviews and all.

I think the more stressful part is deciding on a career! It’s one thing to be worried about not getting any offers but to get to pick makes it all the more stressful. What if I pick the wrong one? Should I hold out for a better offer? These are questions that keep appearing in my head every single night. Another thing is the guilt. I make all these applications,  made it through, but eliminated other applicants who wants to he job so badly when I’m not keen in it. I don’t know why I’m still so selfish taking up opportunities of others who wants it so much. I can’t decide,  I’ve always had faith in God,  and I’m really honest during interviews.

So I guess the bottom line is, if you’re awesome enough, you’ll get anywhere. Okay, enough narcissism for one night. Really really need to contemplate what kind of career I’m looking for. But at the end of the day, I’m super duper grateful for all that I have and all that I achieved. All praise to God!

beautifulquote:

Beautiful Quotes

Reblogged from beautifulquote

beautifulquote:

Beautiful Quotes

beautifulquote:

Beautiful Quotes

Reblogged from beautifulquote

beautifulquote:

Beautiful Quotes

FINAL Final Exam

Here’s my customary pre-exam blogpost. I’ve been studying for the past sixteen years and tomorrow I’ll have what could potentially be my very last exam. A little bit of mixed feelings, one I’m happy that I’m putting my studious years behind me and embark on a career rollercoaster journey, two I’m kinda sad that I won’t be studying anymore. C’mon, everybody knows that studying is the most carefree times in one’s life, besides, where else you can enjoy so many holidays in a year without feeling guilty. I’ve experienced working life before and to be only looking forward to weekends and public holidays does kinda suck. 

Spoke to a crowd of pre-u scholars today, almost 200 of them, and to see such young people deciding on their degrees, brings me back to four years ago. It was really a bold move for me to choose engineering, personally because my interest is not really in it. But looking back at all that I’ve done is just pretty remarkable. I remember looking in the prospectus and seeing them boast of student’s amazing projects, I just scoffed and never imagined I’d be able to do anything like that. I guess I adapt well, and I really did learn more about myself than the theoretical engineering in the end. My achievements didn’t come easy, I did work hard for it and I’m glad I did. As I wrapped up my speech, I talked about how in a day my comfortable label as “student” for the past sixteen years would come to an end and I’ll have a new title, “unemployed”. I’m a pretty productive person and that label kinda sticks, though I want to rest, knowing me, I’d probably jump at the prospect of working on projects or something that keeps me busy. 

Well, I guess, things aren’t that bad, I do have a couple of job offers, still considering and hoping to get more. And I always have my own company to fall back on if that’s any consolation. So all in all, I did pretty well in my uni years. After my speech, people came up to congratulate me, and it kind of donned on me, that I’m not too shabby after all. Maybe I just worry too much. I’m not a humble person, but I don’t boast about my achievements in people’s faces all the times, so to be on stage talking bout your life and having people give you well wishes after makes me really happy. I’m really starting to like being on stage. And I used to be that shy boy who’s afraid of asking for a lavatory pass back in school…

Homecoming

Two weeks in the US has been such an awesome experience that it not only enlightened me but gave me certain depth of realization bout myself. I’ve definitely learned and discovered new things along the way.

1. I’m happier than I let myself be
There are moments that I’m subconsciously stopping myself from feeling good cause I just feel like I don’t deserve it. I learned that letting go may be a good thing and not everything has to be so controlled to the extent of forgoing happiness.

2. Spontaneity is awesome
Plans are good. But when plans change, it’s not a bad thing either. Not knowing what to expect is fun and exciting.

3. It’s nice to get praises
Oh who doesn’t like to get compliments. Sometimes I can’t see what a good thing I have until somebody else points it out to me. I need to stop being oblivious to all the awesomeness around me, accept it and embrace it. I need to feel good about myself, have more self confidence.

4. Breath of fresh air clears the mind
Particularly true. I find myself thinking clearer after sitting on a bench overlooking a lake/park/whatever. The peaceful serenity of just the world seemingly stopped spinning in that brief moment always leads me to clarity.

5. Bacon makes everything better
Seriously, need I say more.

6. When all else fails, take a breather and get away a bit
My life felt like it was in ruins till I ran away for two weeks, that’s when I realize it was merely shrouded in a cloud of blurness. Yea things do get better on holidays. Pack your bags and go. It’s worth it.

Reblogged from bibaboon

(Source: nursharida)

June 15th 2013

Today I finally have the courage to do what I should have done a long time ago. Today I emerged from the darkness, from the abyss, from my own mental prison to be a new person. I’m sure one day looking back I’ll be glad I made this move. June 15th, the day I stop living a life of lies.

On The Road To Recovery

So today I was browsing through some old photos, stopping and laughing at some occasional crazy ones. Yea, I know I’m supposed to be working but I kinda lost focused lately and everything no longer seems important to me. If you’re my friend, you’d know that I’ve been pretty much a different person over the past couple of weeks, I’ve lost my happy-go-lucky charm and replaced it subconsciously with a pessimistic grim instead. Trust me, nobody wants to be sad and moody but it’s just that I’ve been strong for so long, and when so many heart-and-spirit breaking occurrences decided to blow up at the same time, it claimed me as a casualty. 

I know I’m different, and I’m trying hard to regain my optimistic swag. It’s a slow process, but there’s progress nonetheless. So yea, like I was saying, I was looking through my old photos, priceless memories of stuff I did, places I visited and people I love. I was hoping to reboot myself by reminding myself of my carefree smile. And then I realize, my life isn’t without hardship. Who’s is? But what’s important is I face them head on, never back down and no matter what don’t give up. I’ve worked hard for so long, but I also played hard and spend so much time with so many different people in my life that means so much to me. All that makes it so much more worth it. Everything I’ve done, everything I’ve been through, has made me who I am today, and I’m grateful for that. All the pain, the happiness, the sorrow, the laughs, the tears, they form memories; memories that would stick with me for the rest of my life. 

Every time I have a goal, a vision, people tell me it’s impossible, but I make it happen anyways. No, not because I’m a magician, I’m just a boy with a mission. I may have lost my mission momentarily, but I’m confident I am on the road to rediscovering myself. And when I do, I would be stronger than ever. That smiling chap with the swag I see in photos with crazy poses, I’m gonna be that person again!