Coming from a Christian family, I was essentially instilled with religion from a very young age. Growing up, I was a God-fearing person, but as I got older, I learnt to understand Him better and the things that He is doing for me. I used to think that when things didn’t go according to plan or that when something goes wrong, God is punishing me.
Oh how wrong I was. God loves me. God loves you. God loves everyone of us. Everything He does, He does for a reason. I’ve come to realize that simply because I was born a planner. I plan meticulously. I like to know every detail. I like to think ahead. So whenever my plan fails, God is taking away from me what I think I want. But then without fail, every single time, He would give me something else, something better.
Of course, at the moment, I wouldn’t know that it is better. But much later I would come to the realization that I’m ever so grateful for His guidance. Take for instance when I was eleven, I was starting high school and I applied to a school which most of my primary school friends are going, thinking nothing can bring us apart. Well guess what, it wasn’t in His plans for me to stick with my primary school friends. Instead He set out a course for me to go to a high school in which I didn’t know a single person there. Naturally, I felt very out of place, being alone and what not. Turns out it was the best thing that could happen for me, cause I met some of the most amazing friends in my life. Not that my primary school mates aren’t awesome, but I got to know even more cool people.
Then the same thing sort of happened after my pre-u. It was in my books to study in Singapore. Well, I’ve always have a nerd side in me. But turns out I didn’t make it there after all. And the exact same thing happen where I enrolled into a Uni with nobody I know. Essentially, zero friends on day one all over again. And again, turns out to be one of the best things that could ever happen. I sort of found my true self, unleashed my potentials to say the least. Did things I never thought I could do and made a name for myself in which I could only pictured in my dreams previously.
The main point is, God works in mysterious ways. Yeah, I’ve gotta admit, many a times my faith is faltered when my plans don’t come to be. But then when I truly open my eyes to see what He has done for me, I come to my senses and believe that He really does know what He’s doing.
Coming from a science background, I know that there are many things that can’t be proven. Does it seem stupid to believe in something that can’t be proven exist? I think not. I’m not a particularly pious person. But there are miracles happening that cannot be explained, does that mean it doesn’t exist? There are things out there that does not need scientific evidence, graphs, charts and data to make them real. Though it might sound like fairy tale, but I truly believe that there is a God and that He is looking down on me; and by faith alone, that is all I need to know that He exists.
It’s not superstition, it’s not blind following. It’s merely my own experiences. I’ve had my own share of ups and downs in my life. But what I believe in is how God protects me all the time. I’m not saying supernatural forces forming a force-field around me, protecting me from harm; but rather, how He never fail to teach me life-lessons that changes how I behave and make me a better person.
These stuff can’t really be explained, and in no way am I preaching religion here. I believe that everyone has a choice in choosing what they want to believe in. Perhaps the only thing I can say is I have faith. It’s funny how most people would turn to God in prayer to ask for things. Maybe I’m one of them. But for me prayer has always been a personal conversation with God, not making wishes to a genie and hope they come true. The thing is, talking to God makes me calm, gives me strength and that helps for me. And in a way, I always feel that my instinct, that weird feeling in your heart, that’s God talking back to me.